Have you ever apologised for your English? Ever felt that it’s not good enough and you need to let the person you are talking to know that? You’re not alone. But is it really helpful to apologise for not having enough vocabulary or making some grammatical errors?
I went to see a friend of mine who works in the marketing department of a Pharmaceutical firm. He’s been speaking English for years and does so very well. But, half way through a conversation he was having with someone else, I heard him say “I’m sorry that my English is not very good”. I was shocked, because his English is usually very good. Yes, there might be a little mistake here or there, but he is normally 100% understandable, those mistakes don’t prevent me from understanding him.
After his meeting I asked him why he had apologised for his English. His response went something like this …
“I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t speak well, and if I made a few mistakes or it wasn’t clear what I was saying he’d understand that it was my language skills and not that I didn’t know everything about the product. I really wanted him to sign the contract so apologising for my English felt like it would go in my favour and remove any embarrassment for us both.”
Maybe what he was saying was reasonable, apologising removes embarrassment and shifts the focus so that weak language skills aren’t interpreted as weak knowledge. But there is a problem here.
Ritually apologising for our language skills actually shows weakness, makes us look less confident and annoys the listener. In addition to that, by apologising for your English you may be bringing the listeners attention to something that they had not noticed in the first place. Now your listener is listening to your English skills and is not focussed as much as they should be on your message.
Ritually apologising for your English shows weakness and can make you look less confident.
Many people believe that speaking mistake-free will lead to more sales and better professional relationships, but it simply isn’t true. Being able to communicate effectively is enough. Having sophisticated vocabulary, pronouncing everything perfectly and using the correct prepositions everytime is great if you can do that, but they aren’t deal breakers if you can’t!
So, what should we do when our English does not meet the standard of perfection that we would like? Well, firstly …
Stop apologising! It is totally possible that the person you are speaking to can not speak your L1 (your mother tongue), so you are already doing something that they are not able to do.
and then …
Stop blaming your “bad English” for the failed deal. Maybe you need to focus more on the message, not the words you are using to convey the message. Learn how to be a better communicator, look at the outcomes and structure of what you want to say, empathise with the listener so you know what they feel and need and actively listen (active listening skills are lacking at every level of business) and always summarise what someone has said to you so you’re sure you got it just right.
In summary, many people, regardless of their language skills, are not the best communicators simply because they have not thought about the message they want to convey. Poor English skills can sometimes be used as an excuse for poor communication skills. Do not be that person!
By all means, develop your language skills, feel more confident in your abilities, but also, develop your ability to enter each conversation with excellent communication skills. It is the combination of both that brings confidence and success.
